do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
