The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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