her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
