You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
