So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
