I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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