3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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