I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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