Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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