He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
