After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
