The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
