Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
