Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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