A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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