You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
