so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
