How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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