tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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