My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
