my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
