Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
