It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
