then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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