I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
