someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
