Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i think my cat just said my name.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
