i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
