He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
