Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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