Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
