Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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