perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
