just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
