I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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