I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
