thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
