I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
