i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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