That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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