and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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