Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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