Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
