it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
