I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
