Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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