WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
