hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
