Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
