are you still at the devil's house?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
