Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
