Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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